A tale of two bakers and how fear can alter your course.
I often meet people in the workplace who are harbouring secret thoughts, or so they tell me.
Secret, as in they never tell anyone about their ambitions or dreams.
Passing in corridors or riding the lifts, we catch quick
conversations or stand huddled around the water machine, me listening, them talking
or ranting depending on how they are feeling on the day.
They lie awake at night, the tell me, speaking in a hushed voice, thinking about how much they hate their day job then they daydream during particularly arduous weeks about leaving their jobs, launching a new career working for themselves, making it big and living a life of their dreams.
They commute along the highway of hell each morning promising themselves they will do something about their circumstances and change their life.
And then they allow their own reality to creep in, fear real or imagined takes hold and ruins all their good intentions
But we all must make our own choices in life.
My experience is, and has been no matter how much you tell someone how good they are, or how fantastic you think their idea is, you can only lead the horse to water, not make him drink it.
A lot of people talk but take no action at all towards their work heaven.
Most people seem to want to simmer in their work hell because frankly, it is easier.
I met Joanne (not her real name) during a temping assignment last summer.
We would stop for a chat in the kitchen, or me at her desk as I had to pass it to get to the lifts.
Somehow or other we got on to the subject of her being fed up with her job, me as usual asking what she would like to do?
Well, without hesitation or skipping a beat her face lit up and she started telling me about how much she loved baking.
Early or late, it didn’t matter what time of the day it was, she was in her element.
She thought nothing of doing a full day’s work, going out for the evening socialising, then come home and turn the oven on to make a pie from scratch.
Or she would get up early to produce some homemade bread for breakfast for her family.
Wow, I thought, that is dedication and most definitely love.
And she really loved it.
She adored making cakes, and pastry and bread for her family, her extended family and her friends, and they loved what she produced.
She often provided the catering for family events, weddings, christenings and often for free.
She said “I would love to spend all day doing it, I could give up my job and start a catering business from home”.
“Great” I said, “why aren’t you doing it?”
And then I could hear the fear.
“Ah well, I am not really good enough and I would need to do training, and I don’t know about what I need to get going and I haven’t got my food certificates, and, well, I can’t afford to give up my job and I think I am a bit too old for it now!” She was probably mid to late 40's so ready to get started in my opinion.
She had built up this massive wall of reasons as to why not?
I was thinking “why not” in the very opposite sense. She was born to do it.
I thought about it for a while and next time I saw her I was armed with suggestions, convinced she would think they were brilliant, be thrilled to bits and implement at least one of them immediately.
She would realise there was a way to do what she loved, start her own little empire and keep her job until she could sustain an proper income.
In my head, the plan for her was...
...she could start small and not even for money to begin with, more for confirmation of her skills as she really needed some serious confidence building.
She didn't seem thrilled to bits...
...she thought her family and friends would say they loved it, because of just that, they were family and friends and duty bound to provide praise. She thought they wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.
I completely disagreed with that notion and told her so.
A couple of weeks later I invited to her lunch.
I wanted to have more time to speak with her instead of just bowling past her in the lift lobby.
I wanted to explain I had been thinking about what she had said to me and I had 4 ideas for her, in a very specific order:
I suggested this first because, there was no pressure to put herself under.
She could casually bring in things now and then or as often as she wanted and listen for compliments.
The object was to quietly quickly solicit opinions without really asking for them in an obvious way, or letting people know why she was asking.
Of course, if she felt brave enough she could come right out with it.
There was no charging either so she didn't have to frighten herself half to death by asking.
This seemed to be a big problem for her.
I suggested this as the next action because it gave her an opportunity to bake for money that wasn’t for herself to begin with, but she could get used to asking for it.
Again, people will be free with their compliments and she should be listening for them.
What could she learn from this experience?
The next option was so she could bake, again not for money for herself but she would be exposed to a different group of people who were not family or close friends and she could solicit further opinion in a non-obvious way.
People would pay for her goods and she could get more used to the idea of charging, as her next option was to bake as a business for herself.
This was my final suggested idea and for a couple of reasons.
Firstly, she had mentioned she had a wonderful conservatory on her house, ideal as it led into a lovely garden with space.
She had youngish children and they were girls
She often had friends round at the house with their children so she was used to the hullabaloo.
Why not profit from the time and space and make good use of her love of baking.
What little girl wouldn’t love to put on her best party dress and sit and have cakes with her friends and feel like a princess.
She could open her home to parents to host their little girl’s birthday party.
She would bake small fancy cakes, make lovely sandwiches, dress the conservatory in a lovely themed way, have pretty tablecloths and child friendly but pretty cups and saucers plates and so on.
The party could go on for 2 or 3 hours, the other parents would probably help her clear up and everyone would have a great time.
The garden was there for playing outdoors during the summer months so the parents could have a breather.
There was a lot of scope here then for trying out if she wanted to be in business without a massive outlay.
If it went well she could move out from her home and find premises to create a children’s tea shop and then the world was her oyster.
She could host more children, she could offer cakes for sale, perhaps etiquette lessons for children.
She might even go on to create a children’s bakery school, write a cookbook for children or one about how to host children’s tea parties.
She might sell children sized portions bakeware or sell children’s kitchen equipment.
The possibilities could be endless, all because she had the courage to give it a go with some fairy cakes and the use of her conservatory.
In the end, Joanne did love the ideas but she didn’t do anything about her dream.
She was too frightened of failing in front of people, and she couldn’t overcome it.
I haven’t seen her since but I suspect she is still at her desk, crying inside because she hates her job.
And a shame really because she had a lovely personality and everyone would have loved her.
She was a natural people person.
Meanwhile, co-incidentally on the same floor at round the same time I met baker number 2.
A lovely man, around mid 50's who had no such worries.
He was equally as interested in baking but rather than say “I can’t”, he said “well I am going to have a go, what is the worst that can happen?”
He didn’t need any help at all in pursuing his dream and he didn't seem to have any fear at all about stepping forward and off the cliff edge, because let's face it, sometimes that is how being brave feels.
He was quite successful, lasted a good six or seven episodes and he got to be on National Television and produced his own gluten free cookbook.
He now does appearances at food events and various local shows and has turned his passion for baking into a second career after retiring from his job.
He seems to being do quite well and it is wonderful to see.
And all because he had the courage to do something bold.
You must believe in yourself and not allow fear to get in the way of your path.
If people are saying you are good at something, are you listening?
If people want you to do something for them because you are good at it, are you paying attention?
If people constantly ask your advice, are you noticing it?
We ALL have gifts that could be put to better use, are you looking for yours?
There is a quote that may explain where Joanne was in her head: